Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Hollywood Westerns Physics

I recently purchased a DVD set with 150 old 1950s television westerns for $10.00. Great stuff! Included are a few episodes of Annie Oakley, The Cisco Kid, Lone Ranger, etc. Just the thing for a nostalgic Baby Boomer like me.

While watching some of the same episodes I watched as a kid, I noticed several things that never occurred to me from my "kid prospective" when I first watched them in the 1950s. I have entitled my observation, "The Physics of 1950s TV Westerns".

1. When bullets hit any object, they always ricochet. This includes trees, rocks, wood, bare earth, anything, and everything.

2. When an outlaw is being pursued and they run out of bullets, they always throw the empty six-shooter at the "good guy" who is running after them. However, I have never seen them hit by the tossed six-shooter since they always duck at the last second.

3. When anyone gets into a fistfight, the "smack" sound is always the same and after repeated punches, no one's jaw is ever broken.

4. During a gun battle, usually among big rocks, they can fire their six shooters for hours without having to stop and reload.

5. Whenever anyone is stranded in the desert and runs out of water they always yell, "Its empty!", and angrily throw their empty canteen on the ground and keep walking. I've always wondered what they would do if they later found a water hole. They would have no way to store water for the remainder of the trek through the desert.

6. When the "bad guys" are finally apprehended and locked up in jail, there are never any bathrooms in them. I always assumed they "crossed their legs" until the trial or the lynching by the local town people, whichever came first.

Oh, well, now that I'm older and watch this kind of cool stuff, I mainly enjoy the nostalgia of watching some of the things from my childhood. I'm too busy being entertained to continually dwell on such things. On the other hand, I have to wonder...
On my next Blog entry, I will examine the topic of "Cartoon Physics".
Riding off in the sun set...

Friday, December 19, 2008

A True Christmas Classic!

Like most people, I always watch all of the classic Christmas movies this time of year. I have always enjoyed watching A Christmas Carol, It’s a Wonderful Life, Scrooge, etc. However, my all time favorite Christmas movie is always overlooked. It is indeed a classic and I have never understood why it is very difficult, to find on VHS or DVD. Fortunately, I have a DVD copy. The title is Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. One of the all time classics, indeed. If you don’t have a copy of this masterpiece, you can still get one before Christmas. The best place to find it is either in bargain bins at lesser known discount stores in smaller deep jungle villages in Africa, or the place I found it, at the landfill.

It’s sad that so many people in this society just don’t know what a good Christmas movie is. I guess I’m one of the very few that have highly refined tastes relative to this subject.

Hmmm, I wonder if it is illegal to watch DVD Christmas movies in the summer. If I ever do indeed plan to watch these movies in the summer, I would definitely watch them very late at night with curtains drawn and doors locked so as to avoid any night time raids by the off season Christmas movie police. Now that I think about it, whenever I watch my DVD Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, I always watch it late at night with curtains drawn and doors locked. And that is only during the Christmas season when it's legal!


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Confession of a “Fugitive”

I stopped at a fast food joint this afternoon and the cashier rang up my purchase with the senior discount! I saved 60 cents. I was surprised that she just assumed I was qualified since I didn’t “flash” my new Golden Buckeye Card or ask for the senior discount. I guess I just look like a “senior citizen”. I was nervous about accepting the discount. The reason was that I am not officially a “senior citizen” yet because my 60th birthday is on the 22nd of this month!

YIKES! I sure hope the “Taco Bell Gestapo” does not find out and start an investigation and find that I won’t officially be a senior citizen until Monday of next week. I’d sure hate to get arrested and put in a maximum security cell block with those who tear off mattress tags or spit on the sidewalk. I guess I’ll just have to live in fear and keep looking over my shoulder until Monday. If you want to call or visit me, please wait until at least next Tuesday because I will not be answering my phone or door since I am going to keep a “low profile” until then when in the eyes of the the State of Ohio and Taco Bell, I will be an official “senior citizen”, which is a polite politically correct way of formerly calling people “old codgers”.

Pssst, if you stop at the Taco Bell in Norwalk before next Monday, please don’t mention my name or my description because they will certainly recall that distinguished tall handsome guy with the cool Jeep Wrangler who was there on this date and was given the senior discount.

Thanks, I knew I could count on you…

Your soon to be a “senior citizen”… (Name withheld until 12:01 AM December 22nd).

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Safe Surfing Freebie

Hey beloved and loyal Blog readers, its time once again to post something actually useful for a change.

As we all know, the Internet is a very dangerous place these days. Among the hundreds of email newsletters I regularly receive, many are on the subject of Internet dangers including malware, viruses, etc. There are thousands of very malicious and insidious things out there in the cyber world, my friends.

Among the many things I use to help make my surfing safe, one of the best safety guards is SiteAdvisor by McAfee. It works great and is totally free. It checks each site you open for phishing, malware, spam distribution, and other aggravating things one is in danger of while surfing.

If the site you are visiting is safe, then the SiteAdvisor bar is green. If it is a dangerous site, the bar turns red. Any site not yet tested the bar turns yellow. One of the best things is that the program is integrated with the major search engines such as Yahoo and Google.

Below is an actual pic of my Explorer page with the program in operation indicated by the red arrow in the upper left hand corner.

Check out the SiteAdvisor site for details and free down load. It sure can't hurt and it's free!


Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Another Installment to my Ongoing "Cereal"

I was at the supermarket this morning and got some fixins' for Crockpot "Hobo Stew". I thought this stew was fitting because I'm once again "bummed out" because as usual I looked in vain for my favorite breakfast food, Puffed Wheat and Rice. I haven't seen it on the shelves for ages. I believe this is yet one more conspiracy against us baby boomers by the younger generation who just do not know what good stuff is. One of my theories is that since Puffed Wheat and Rice is "shot from guns", the younger generation is trying to ban all guns, which greatly aggravates my NRA genes.

These same people perpetrated yet another major conspiracy. They dropped lime Life Savers and substituted watermelon or some such obnoxious flavor. They have done this with several of the old time cherry, lemon, and orange flavors of most formerly good stuff.

Alas, what is this world coming to...?


Tuesday, December 2, 2008

It’s Official!

I just received my Golden Buckeye Card in the mail today. I’m now officially a “Senior Citizen”, at least as far as the State of Ohio is concerned. I don’t feel like a Senior Citizen, and heaven knows I sure don’t act like one! From now on I expect all of you to treat me with the respect due to the older generation. At the very top of the list is to always let me be right and never contradict me because it’s disrespectful to your elders.

Hurray, now I have free reign to state my opinions and no one will dare disagree with me. YIKES!!! In light of what I just said, it sounds like I also have something else that comes with being a Senior Citizen; the onset of Alzheimer’s!!!!!