Wednesday, November 11, 2009

One Track Mind

The older I get, the more difficult it is becoming to do more than one thing at a time. The modern trendy word is "multi tasking". I'm still very involved and focused (actually obsessed would be a better word), with Facebook. Once and a while, such as now, I get inspired to make another Blog entry. This is because for the moment (i.e. "nano" second), I have resisted the urge to click on my "FB" short cut icon and clicked on the "My Blog" icon, hence, ending up here.

I have made a pre New Years Resolution (to avoid the New Year's Day rush), to spend more time on my Blog, thus, no longer depriving the world of my brilliant insights. Hmmm, another case in point of my lack of being able to do more than one thing at a time, since I can not think of any more superlatives at the moment.

I have concluded the best way not to forget something is to make a list and a schedule. Therefore, I will try and adhere to the following 2010 schedule to post things in this Blog on or about the following dates:
Jan. 29
March 2
June 31
October 24

Please bear in mind that this schedule is not inclusive and I may post things more often if I should happen to click on the "My Blog" icon rather than the "FB" icon which would be a result of another failure to "Multi Task" at that moment.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Ohhh, yes, my Blog!

My goodness! I noticed I haven't made any Blog entries since May! Well, it's the same old reason. I'm still all agog with Facebook. My apologies to my faithful and loyal Blog fans who no doubt have been wondering where I have been the last few months. I've been enjoying the wonderful autumn weather we have been having around here lately. We just finished the last of the hay baling for the season. The vegetable stand is booming and Tim has been doing a lot of business lately.

Well now, let's see.... Do I have any other exciting news to share with the Blog World right now??? Oh yes! I am going to get a haircut this week! Hey, since I am retired, that's a big deal for me to make that "long" trip to Huron!!!!

I shall be resolved to make Blog postings more often when I have additional exciting news. Be watching for an entry later next week when I tell about my grocery shopping trip! Be ready to hear about my life in the "fast lane" if you can handle it!
Later fans...
Mike {:)

Friday, May 15, 2009

“Thumb Driving”

I purchased something the other day that is both a marvel of Japanese electronic engineering and Chinese construction. It is what is commonly known as a “Thumb drive”. Most of you readers no doubt know what these little gems are for, but if not; they are used to store digital information. It is just a simple matter of plugging this little gadget into a USB port of any computer and downloading files. It can then be used to transfer the files to another computer, or if you wish, store the information.

This little marvel has saved me from having to burn information from my desktop server onto a CD then having to transfer it to my laptop. When I have completed this, I then have a used CD that I either have to throw away or fly like a Frisbee into our fields. The one thing I will miss, however, is flying the CD into the field, but technology and convenience are the order of the day. Alas, advanced technology trumps fun in any form.

The one I have holds 2 gigabytes of information. When I observe how small the thing is, I have to wonder how all that information can possibly fit into it. I wonder if it compresses it like compressed air. If this is the case, then I have fears for my safety. If I should accidently drop it or if the cat should start playing with it and it falls on the floor, will it explode and kill the cat and/or me with 2 billion pieces of digital shrapnel? I can see it now, I’d have to go to the local emergency room and wait while some intern spends days removing all those 2 billion “1’s” and “0’s from all over my body!

I’m surprised that the instructions do not have any warnings about this.
For example:

WARNING!
NEVER attempt to use this product without first taking extreme safety measures to prevent this product from falling on the floor. This could cause an explosion of data that can injure, maim, or kill both people and curious cats. Do not attempt to use this product unless you are wearing a flack vest. Please keep all children and pets at least 829 feet away from the work area.

In the event this product does fall on the floor and doesn’t explode, call your local law enforcement bomb disposal squad immediately and move all people, children, pets, and valuables at least 1,061 feet away from the affected area.

Oh well, I guess this is the price one has to pay for convenience and not being able to have fun with used CDs.
The picture shows me taking precautions before using my thumb drive. For safety, I'm going to use it outside on my new deck.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

“All Hands on Deck”


Ah yes, a blast from the past from my Navy days. After 15 years of talking about it, we are finally building a deck. Its not that we have put it off, it is because at my age, I don’t rush into things like I used to. I only grocery shop once every 6 months because I want to make sure my shopping list is complete before rushing off all half cocked, which is better than half baked which is my natural tendency.

My nephew is constructing it and is only charging me $6.28 cents per hour labor, or $24.61 if I help. In my younger days, I would have built my deck myself. In those days, I didn’t know how to do things like that, but just went ahead and did them anyway. I don’t have the confidence to do things like that now because now not knowing how to do something prevents me from doing it. Old age plays tricks like that on me.

We have plans to throw some home grown 2 inch thick Angus steaks on the gas BBQ grill; plop ourselves down at our patio table with a big umbrella, tune the XM satellite radio to the 60’s channel and turn it up loud (we have no close neighbors), and feast on our own natural beef. I do still have confidence to do that, at least for now. As I get older and realize that I don’t know how to BBQ steaks, I will hire some Yuppie from a new subdivision to come and BBQ our steaks for us. They seem to have a natural talent for BBQing steaks and getting rid of crabgrass. All I’ll need to supply him are the steaks and an apron that says, “Head Chef”.

In the meantime, the sweet aroma of our own natural home grown 2 inch thick Angus steaks will be wafting from my brand new gas BBQ grill sitting on my brand new deck. I will enjoy my steaks in spite of the fact that I don’t know how to BBQ nor will I notice all the crab grass surrounding my new deck… At least for the time being…
M. {;-)

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My Latest Facebook Video!

Due to popular request by some of my loyal fans who are not on Facebook.com yet (shame on you), I am posting my latest video of my Berlin Local School, Berlin Heights, OH Memories series. This and several others of my videos are posted on my Berlin Heights and Berlin Heights Alumni Facebook Groups.

I could withhold these videos from you non Facebook members, but to show you I’m a regular guy, I have posted it for you. (“Ain’t” I a swell guy).

Check it out…


Friday, April 17, 2009

Eureka! It Was Not a Dream!!!

Being a typical "Baby Boomer", I am always on constant vigilance looking for anything from the "Good Ole Days" or a reasonable facsimile there of. This morning I made a marvelous discovery at, of all places, the small neighborhood supermarket in Huron where I shop!

While scanning the shelves bulging with the typical present day boring cloned tasteless soft drinks that come only in cans, my cynical 6-decade-old eyes came to a screeching halt on GLASS bottles of Grape Nehi! After making sure it was not a dream and recalling that I took my morning lithium dose, I inadvertently yelled out, "Oh my goodness, its grape Nehi!!!" Occasional extemporaneous mild out bursts of this nature are certainly no surprise to the store people since they are used to me. However, one Gen X lady customer looked somewhat bewildered and very warily looked at me with an "I hope he's harmless grin".

The ingredients are the same and it is made with sugar and not the goofy corn syrup that all pop (soda to my Northeast friends, and you KNOW who you are) is made with these days.

My first slow glorious sip of this bottle of "Nectar of the Baby Boomers" was an instant magical flashback to the days when pop (aka soda) was really good! It "ain't" cheap, but I did my patriotic duty to stimulate both the economy and my old brand pop (soda) depraved gullet. For the first time in my life, I am going to be looking forward to going grocery shopping!!!!!

Now if I could just find a pack of Blackjack gum to chew while on those short trips in a 1957 two door Chevy to "Baby Boomer Paradise"! I will certainly make it a point to meet with the store manager next time. I am POSITIVE he will say, "The Blackjack gum is right next to the Grape Nehi".

Rats! Its 4:30 and I missed my noon Lithium dose! Oh well, maybe Blackjack gum would not go very well with Grape Nehi anyway...

Monday, April 13, 2009

Now the Whole World Knows! Yikes!

I've been having a blast on Facebook and YouTube lately. For you facebook members (and future members), I started some FB Groups: Berlin Heights Residents Past and Present:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=68919065476

And Berlin Heights High School Alumni 1950 - 68:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/group.php?gid=58442669349

I also have Video Stories on my Group and YouTube. For you non Facebook users, here's a sample of one story on YouTube (There are 3 of them so far. Search YouTube under: "Berlin Local School" to see the rest of them.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

My Worse Nightmare!

No, it’s not Rambo. I should be so lucky. It’s my old High School English teacher Miss. Purcell! I had one of my worse nightmares of all time about her last night! As of right now I am definitely going to stop eating my regular midnight snack of whipped cream, catsup, honey, saltwater taffy, rutabagas, fried liver and onions flavored ice cream, and pork chops before I go to bed from now on! (Bear in mind that my nickname in High School was “Crow”.) In my nightmare, she kept saying to me, "How about a little sentence diagramming scare"crow"! EHHHH HEHHH HEHHH!

Monday, March 23, 2009

"We Don't Get Fooled Again"!

According to the calendar, last Friday was supposed to be the first day of spring. Well today, it was a high of 41! Some spring. They say the best sign of spring is to see red winged blackbirds coming back from the south.

Well, I saw a red wing black bird yesterday. The high temperature yesterday was in the high 30's. Obviously, this red wing blackbird believed the calendar but found it was obviously not spring yet! The last I saw of it was when he threatened a Red Tail Hawk at gunpoint to fly him back south. Oh, you don't believe me huh! Well I'll have you know that I happened to get a picture of it as it flew away heading south! So there!
M {;>)

Saturday, March 21, 2009

A Great Day!!!

I just got the latest volume of the Three Stooges Collection! Forget Facebook, I have something better. Of course, I have all the Stooges on VHS and DVD, but these DVD volumes are in chronological order and digitally enhanced which is something never done before. I am probably one of the most avid fans ever and have the equivalent of a SoD (Doctor of Stoogeology) degree. Just 4 more volumes to go until I have all 197 episodes. I can hardly wait until volume 6 is ready to pre order from Amazon. Well, I am going get off of Facebook for awhile so the Facebook servers can cool down. I am off to warm up the DVD player. Woo Woo Woo...

Mike {;-()

Thursday, March 19, 2009

“In Your Dreams”

Like everyone else, I have certain things I would like to accomplish before I die. It would be interesting to take a poll here and list what things you my readers would like to accomplish before you die.

I, of course, have many things I would like to accomplish before I leave this world for the celestial one. My list would be long indeed. Along this time of year as June approaches, I always start thinking about our Annual Berlin Heights High School Alumni Association Banquet and every year at this time I have my yearly fantasy of doing a certain daring act. As a matter of fact, I’ve been planning to do it for over 40 years on the night before our Alumni Banquet and hopefully start a new national trend. This would fulfill the fantasy of not having had the courage to do it while I was in High School. Since I’m not getting any younger, I really hope I can finally gin up the courage to really do it this June. I sure hope the ladder is handicap accessible…

Thursday, March 12, 2009

What I Did on My Facebook Vacation

Hmmm, I see that I have not been on my illustrious Blog lately. I must confess it is because lately I have been all "ga ga" about Facebook and the fascinating world of social networking, or in some cases social engineering. I am trying to balance my time between Facebook and my Blog. So far, it has been way out of balance in Facebook's favor. However, I intent to correct the imbalance with a counter weight. That way I can spend more time on Facebook and not feel guilty about not posting here as much. This may prove to be a bane for my Blog readers, or a relief, depending on how you look at it ;-) Rest assured, beloved readers, that I will eventually maintain a better balance and redirect my obsessions back here. Well, I must get back to Facebook to see if I have anymore "Friend Requests".
Later...
M.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Prescription Drug Warning!!!

Like most everyone these days, I have been taking fish oil capsules. The main reason is to lower my high cholesterol as a result of a lifetime of over indulgence of fried stuff. A few months ago my physician prescribed what I call “industrial strength super fish oil capsules”. They are very expensive because the fish oil is ultra concentrated much more than the type one can purchase “over the counter”. However, after taking these “industrial strength” fish oil caps, I have discovered good and bad benefits. The good benefit is that my cholesterol is rapidly lowering. The bad news is that all of that super concentrated fish oil is having a very frightening side effect. The picture below proves my point! It wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that I can only sleep at night in the bathtub filled with cold water!

“Over Exposed”?

It just occurred to me as I just signed off on Facebook, that I am becoming omnipresent and ubiquitous on the Internet. Let me summarize. I have a web site, a Blog, a Yahoo Group, I’m on Facebook, planning to be on My Space, planning to start a podcast, and on some other web sites I have designed and maintain, and probably several other places on the Internet.

Below is a recent picture of me. Yep, I’m definitely over exposed these days!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

“Spaced Out”

I figured it was about time to offer something useful again in this Blog. For those of us who enjoy watching satellites and space junk orbiting the sky, I found a cool site to do just that. It lists times and locations to see cool stuff from any location in the world.
It may take a little time to learn how to navigate the web site since it is a typical poorly designed site so prevalent these days. Of course, any site not designed by me is hard to navigate {;-)
Now I can’t wait for a warm night to go looking. The way this winter is going, it might be some time before I can spend a few minutes outside at night without getting frostbitten eyes.

Happy hunting! http://www.heavens-above.com/
Mike

Monday, March 2, 2009

Free Parking

Among the hundreds of things I used to see as a kid but do not see now, but wished I still did, are people that park their pencils behind their ears. When I was a kid, all clerks, etc. always had a pencil behind their ear. I believe the main cause of the demise of this practice these days is because most information is now recorded on a word processer or spread sheet program on a lap top computer. No one seems to write things down with a pencil or pen on a pad of paper any more.

What mystifies me is in keeping with the times, why people these days don’t park their wireless mouse behind their ear. It works for me…

But then again, I have always been on the cutting edge of new trends!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Pardon My “Backfire”

I heard something last night that I haven’t heard in years. About 10 PM I heard a big noise something like a firearm going off. That’s not unusual for us since we often fire our rifles, shotguns, and pistols from the porch at night at pesky woodchucks or skunks. I peered out the door and suddenly heard another explosion. This time it had a deep bass sound like a big mortar firing. The next morning I ask Tim about it and he saw that it was a truck backfiring as it slowed to turn down the intersection east of our place.

This is very unusual in this day and age because all engines are run by a computer and I haven’t heard any backfiring in several years. It must have been a very old truck I assume.

When we were kids, long before engine computers, we used to love backfires. There were two ways to produce backfires. One was by removing the “vacuum” advance hose on our car engines. As a result, several neat backfires would ensue while slowing down for a turn. The other way was the best, but often resulted in dire consequences. This was performed while traveling at highway speeds, then turning off the ignition key for a few seconds, then turning it back on. The result would be a gigantic backfire that sounded like a cannon going off! Unfortunately now and then it would blow our mufflers apart. Oh well, a small price to pay for a cool backfire. When our mufflers exploded as a result, we would just go the Norwalk Bargain Center and buy a new Cherry Bomb muffler for 5 dollars.

My one regret is that I turned off my ignition while going very fast one time and blew up both of my beloved dual glass pack mufflers. Most agreed that my dual glass pack mufflers on my 1955 Ford had the coolest sound around in 1966. Cherry Bomb mufflers never sounded the same after that. Oh well, the backfire was one of my all time best since it was in stereo and all our friends who heard it were impressed and said I was “cool”. I guess it was worth 10 dollars to be cool for a few minutes.

The pics below are of my 1955 Ford that I had in 1966. Note the cool duals with the glass pack mufflers before I blew them up!!!! :-(


My Other Halve(s)

I recently I did a Facebook search of my own name and found that there are 4 others on Facebook with the same name as mine!!!! All these years I thought I was the only one in the world with my name. Now I wonder if I am schizophrenic. Aha! That would explain why my psychiatrist always charges me only half his hourly rates for each of my sessions.

Now if I could only find one more guy with my name I could play basketball by myself and have a whole team! I guess schizophrenia has its advantages indeed!

Well at least now we know.

More later…
Mike, Mike, Mike, and Mike ;-) ;-) ;-) ;-)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

One Wish

We all have fantasies of what we would wish for if some genie appeared out of some lamp and granted us one wish. In my case hopefully there would be no small print that prohibits from asking for more wishes. On the other hand, I’m sure any genie that is legitimate would have this contingency covered.

If I were to get unlimited wishes, among them would be to have the whole 43 episodes of the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoon series on DVD. In my lowly opinion, these are the funniest cartoons ever made. I have been enjoying watching them on YouTube which as far as I’m concerned is a very constructive way to wile away these cold snowy days of winter. However, it would sure be a lot more convenient to watch them on a TV screen rather than my laptop screen.

Now that I think about it and ponder relative to this “any wish thing”, I have doubts as to whether I would use my one wish wisely. I can picture the scenario now. Let us say that I was climbing a mountain in Tibet and as I reached the very peak above the clouds, I spied an old Guru who held all of the wisdom of the ages. As I approached him and stood in awe, he would grant only me the answer to one and only one question such as the key to world peace or the cure for any disease. I can see it now, as I stood before him in awe, I would be thinking of the one question that would benefit all mankind. Knowing myself, I would probably ask him, “Do you wear boxers or briefs?”

Alas, for the benefit of the world and all mankind, one can only hope that I would not be the very first person to stumble across that guy!

And now beloved readers, I shall go back to YouTube and watch another Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote cartoon. By the way, does anyone know what the “E.” means in Wile E. Coyote’s middle name? Aha! Now if I were to meet that Guru, I will certainly have a legitimate question to ask! Certainly, the whole world would like to know what his middle name is!

!!!Mike!!!

Sunday, February 15, 2009

“Facing” The Facts

Well, as if I don’t have enough obsessions already, my twin brother got me into Facebook.com! That’s all I need are more obsessions. I’ll just have to add this latest obsession to the long list of my other obsessions including: Jeeps, horses, cats, reading, writing, boots, my web site, this Blog, pod casting, and a whole gaggle of other obsessions only my psychiatrist knows about and some even he has never heard of.

I must admit that I am really having fun in the fascinating world of on line social networking. You can check it out at www.facebook.com and look me up. I need all the Facebook friends I can get just like in real life. (I just hope I will have more success on finding Facebook friends than I do in real life.)

On second thought, it would probably be easier if you just emailed me and I will send you an invitation to join Facebook.com and then take you into my care as a Facebook friend, which involves a little less “red tape”.
Use this email to contact me with your request:

zukeyjuice-mikesblog@yahoo.com

In order to avoid overloading the Yahoo email servers with thousands of emails to me to be my Facebook friend, please use the following schedule:

For middle names beginning with A – G send your emails between 1:42 – 1:59 AM. For middle names beginning with H – L send emails between 2:06 – 2:11 AM. For middle names beginning with M – Q send emails between 2:12 – 2:19 AM. For middle names beginning with R – Z send emails between 2:21 – 3:05 AM. If you have no middle name, then send me your email requests between 3:38 – 4:01 AM.

I’ll be looking for you!


Your (future) friend?...
::M::

Monday, February 9, 2009

I Finally Found It!

No, not my sanity. Dream on fans. For quite a while, I have been trying to find free software to download YouTube videos. I finally stumbled onto something that does it on line with no software to download.

If you would like to download any YouTube video on your hard drive to save and watch anytime on your favorite media player, check out
www.zamzar.com It not only downloads on line videos from YouTube, but others as well. You can also convert any files including the weird ones such as ogg, aac, ac3, and some others I have never heard of. It converts stuff into mp3, wav, wmv, etc. It also converts all kinds of other files and does other cool stuff! Check it out! The best feature is that it is free and that is good enough for me.

(And you were thinking I never have anything useful on my Blog!)

***Mike***

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Some "Juicy" Bit of News!


Now and then, I go to different stores for one reason or another. In doing so, I sometimes find items that are not stocked by the stores I normally patronize. While browsing around Drug Mart this morning I found Donald Duck brand fruit juice in a big tin can. I have not seen this since I was a kid and I assumed that they stopped making it years ago. It took me back to that time. I immediately purchased a can of it. When I am finished drinking the juice, I intent to clean out the can and keep it when I wax nostalgic, which is very often indeed.

In the world of the same old present day brands, it sure is refreshing to see a brand from my child hood for a change!

Now if I could find Bonomo Turkish Taffy, that would really make my day!

I have been having fun surfing YouTube and finding old TV commercials from my youth. To this day, I sometimes get the following song in my head and it stays there all day! It more than likely will stay in your head all day too! Remember, obsession loves company ;-) Check it out
! (Note: if you do not have high speed Internet access, you will have to click on the pause button until the video loads.)

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

“Monopolizing” My Thoughts

I have never been, am not now, nor will ever be a “winter person”. As a result; I have been spending an inordinate amount of time inside during this cold and snowy weather.

Since I rarely watch TV, preferring to read instead, in between books, I have been spending more time on my laptop and exploring many things on the Internet. During my course of surfing, I have been checking out all the things that Yahoo offers. One section I have been camping out in has been Yahoo Games which, needless to say, has all kinds of games. One particular game that caught my attention was Monopoly. I down loaded it and played one game. After finishing it and losing, I came to the conclusion that playing electronic Monopoly is not nearly as much fun as playing on a real board with real dice, etc. This would explain why I’ve always preferred empirical items rather than electronic ones.

The computer version of Monopoly has absolutely no equal to the fun we used to have playing as kids on a real board. In the computer version one can not physically perform things such as rolling the dice and have them fall off the table. Neither can I “stash money” to later overwhelm my opponents when they think I could not afford to put hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk Ave. When I played as a kid, I would often volunteer to be the banker so I could attempt to embezzle funds. When I wasn’t the banker, I would attempt to rob the bank when my funds were low. Unfortunately I had no way to embezzle funds or rob the electronic bank.

I would invite my readers to check out the following link to one of my old stories about playing Monopoly as a kid, which will render much more detail about playing Monopoly on a real board:
http://www.quarterhorse3.us/monopolizing_our_time.html

Thursday, January 29, 2009

“Opening” Remarks

I’ve noticed these days that more and more cans now have pull tab openers. First it was beverage cans that started off with pull tabs, thus making metal beverage can openers obsolete. Now it’s getting more and more evident that soon can openers will be an endangered species. In spite of the fact that the older I get, the more I resist change, this is one change that I laud. One big reason is tuna fish cans. I’ll sure be glad when they finally come with pull off tops. It has always been an irritant to me that every time I open a can of tuna, the can opener smells like tuna for weeks. Just in case you’re wondering, I always wash the opener in hot sudsy water, but it never seems to do any good until the tuna aroma finally fades away on its own. It’s like cutting onions or being sprayed by a skunk, it just takes time for the smell to pass in spite of repeated washings. The one big difference between waiting for onion smell on my hands to naturally pass is that unlike a skunk smell, I don’t lose friends. One the other hand, one consolation for skunk smell is that I can always find a back seat in church.

Since it is inevitable that in the future can openers will be obsolete, I intend to save some for posterity. In several years they are sure to be very valuable especially to a can opener collector or to someone who has old cans socked away that still need an opener.

As I get older, I get wiser. I remember when I was a kid, my grandmother was always telling me, “The things of today are the antiques of tomorrow”. I sure wished now that I would have listened to her. If I had, today I would either be very wealthy or have the biggest collection of junk in Berlin Township. Therefore, in light of that, I am starting to save things here and there that I’m sure will be “the antiques of tomorrow”. Years ago I saved a Rubik’s Cube in the box unopened because I was sure that one in that pristine state would be very valuable someday. Unfortunately, I misplaced it years ago! Oh well, whoever finds it will make a lot of money no doubt.

In order to prevent loss, I’m planning to put a few brand new can openers in their original unopened packages in my safety deposit box at the bank. I have no doubt they will be valuable someday, at least in China. I’m very pleased that I am finally getting far sighted and practical in my old age, although in the opinion of many people that’s still debatable. If I’m mistaken, at least I’ll become an expert poker player in the distant future. I’ll be able to show my “openers”. I’ll bet the other players won’t be able to do that!


~<Mike>~

Safe Bicycling

I’m making great progress on my winter exercise program on my recumbent stationary bicycle. I’m now “riding” 201 feet, 4 ½ inches, which is 0.038 miles, which sounds much further and thus much more encouraging than feet. By April 1st, I’m planning and working hard to be up to 212 feet, 2 1/8 inches which is 0.040 miles which is a nice round number and a worthy but difficult goal for me. I am confident I can reach this goal by hard work each day.

While doing research on the Internet about riding bicycles, they highly recommend wearing a bicycle helmet for riding safety. Since I do not own a bicycle helmet, I figured my motorcycle helmet would suffice. Now I can have confidence that I can ride my stationary recumbent bike in my living room in ultimate safety.
Mike ;-)

No Switch Switch

Remember in the good old days when everything had an on/off switch. However, I have noticed in the last several years that most powered things these days do not have an on/off switch. I’m sure it is obvious that this is a cost saving device used by manufacturers.

As a result of this cost cutting (i.e. cheapness), it causes a great deal of aggravation to the consumer, it least it does to THIS consumer. For example, I recently obtained a snazzy digital cooking timer which of course has no on/off switch. The directions state: "In order to save batteries when not in use, remove one of the batteries". This little marvel of Chinese engineering has 4 batteries. Removing the rear battery compartment door and removing and installing one of the batteries before and after each use is a real pain in the neck, not to mention the fingers! Part of the major conspiracy by non on/off switch manufacturers is not only putting batteries in and out before and after every use, but have you ever tried to remove battery covers. No easy task if you have very short finger nails like I do. This cooking timer has 5 different timers including one for each burner and an oven timer! This also creates a mystery as to why there are 5 separate timers and 4 batteries.

Of course we all have several things without on/off switches these days and I’m sure I am voicing universal aggravation. It wouldn’t surprise me to find that someday everything will lack an on/off switch. As far as I’m concerned that would a real emotional “turn off”. (After removing a battery of course).

M-I-K-E

Friday, January 23, 2009

For Guys Only!

If I had to surrender all of my DVDs and had the option to keep only 1 series, it would unequivocally be The Three Stooges. I have been watching them on either TV or DVD for 50 years. During this entire time, I have never tired of watching them. For the most part, all their fans have been dominated by guys. It's a "guy thing". Being such a devoted fan, I have thoroughly scrutinized every book written about them. I have an extensive Three Stooges database I have created through the years. Recently I have added some fascinating figures to my database. This is esoteric information I've always desired to know and now finally have. The following figures will be germane to us ardent fans. The following data encompasses all 190 episodes the Stooges made.

Total Face Slaps: 2,695
Total Eye Pokes: 222
Total Head "Conks": 187
Total Pies Thrown: 224
Most Slaps in one Episode: 69 (Fright Night)
Most Eye Pokes in one Episode: 11 (Woman Haters) (This figure is the most pertinent to me because this is my favorite Stooge antic)

The previous statistics are just a few of the comprehensive ones I have gathered over the course of many years.

All right guys, I know you have always wondered and now you know! Moreover, most (if not all) people say my Blog never contains anything useful! That shows what you know! Unlimited praise and adorations will be gladly accepted via any of my many email addresses.

Epilogue:
I imagine most of you lady readers are now no doubt thinking, "This stuff is atrocious"! I must point out that I had a disclaimer at the onset and I must reiterate. It's "A Guy Thing". If you ladies are really serious about trying to understanding all this, you will have to get a testosterone plus an anabolic steroid injection. BOING! Upon pondering this concluding point, at my age, I think I will get in line for one of those injections too! Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk ;-)


Mike

Electronic Apron Strings

In my last post, I mentioned schools having web sites these days. In keeping with this electronic theme, I shall now examine the subject of cell phones. I am really into all sorts of electronic gizmos these days and wished we had had them back "in my day".

However, the one exception to this desire is cell phones. Cell phones are not bad in themselves, but I was amazed to learn recently that most every kid has one. When I was a kid, the last thing I needed or desired was to have a means of communication from home. The main reason for this is due to the things I did and the places I went. For example, if I had had a cell phone at school, I would have been caught doing all kinds of "shady" things that I normally got away with.

I can imagine my mother calling me at school on my cell phone:

RING RING....... This is your mother calling. You haven't lost your lunch money have you!

Me... Absolutely not! (I would never have admitted that I lost it that morning playing marbles at recess and losing a 25 cent bet that I could roll one of my marbles and hit my opponent's marble 175 feet away).

Mom... You wore your coat outside for recess like I told you to, didn't you? You know it's -6 and the wind chill is -45

Me... Sure mom, I'm not stupid you know. (In order to impress my guy friends that I was a real man, I never wore my coat outside at recess).

Mom... Now do like I told you this morning and come straight home from school because Aunt Horetense is going to be here.

Me... I would really like to, but I asked my teacher if we both could stay after school for some private tutoring in spelling, which you know is my worse subject. (Actually, I had detention for not wearing my coat outside for recess).

Mom... Well, OK. You're such a little angel!

Me... I sure am Mom. Well the bell just rang and I wouldn't want to be late for class. Bye Bye mommy dearest. (I sure couldn't tell her I have to go and hide in the restroom during spelling which was my worse subject).

Now that I think about it, I'm sure thankful that cell phones were not invented way back "in my day".
M I K E

High Tech Homework Avoidance

Earlier today, I was doing some "spring cleaning" of all of my superfluous bookmark links. I'm sure we all have these in our web browsers. While checking all the links to see whether they were still operational, I checked out several websites I haven't been to in a long time.

One bookmarked web site I went to was our local high school. They have a great web site and I enjoyed browsing through it. It's amazing how high tech is influencing our daily lives. I pondered the pros and cons if we had had a school web site in my day. The best pro I would have enjoyed would have been sending anonymous crank emails to our high school principal and teachers. I can think of one example email I would have loved to have sent to my high school English teacher:

From: John Q. Student
To: sophie@berlinhtsschool.ed
Subject: You

Hey Sophie! I think you are too cruel to all of us students in your 4th period English class and that you are a cranky old bag. Just to really bug you, I'm going to use improper English on purpose. Heey, yu,.. eye thnk of u whenever Ie usse wrog speling or gramer. I realy lik to use dangling partysipels to. U aint never ganna know who this iss. I'm even going to give you my name and you will NEVER EVER be able to figure out who I am because I'm going to misspell it on purpose. YOU OLD BAG. HA HA!
Mikke Tillinghaste

On the con side, I noticed a section that listed homework assignments from each teacher. This would have really caused me much trouble. Since I rarely did homework, this would have nailed me for sure, because I could no longer use the lame excuse that I didn't know what the assignment was. On the other hand, since I was a genius in coming up with award winning lame excuses, I could still have circumvented the on line homework assignments. I would have said that I tried to download the homework assignment, but since I only have dial up Internet access, the assignment had not completed downloading at the time I had to leave for school.

Now that I think about it, it was probably just as well we didn't have the Internet in those days. Hence, I can honesty say that things were indeed better in the "Good Ole Days" at least as far as homework assignments go.

mike {;0)>

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

“TOEING” THE LINE

It has been said that truth is stranger than fiction. I have certainly observed the truth of this platitude over the years.

For example, we all are familiar with the comic strip cat "Garfield". Since I like cats so much, I always make it a point to read it every day. One of our house cats is an orange tiger and looks a lot like "Garfield". His name is “Punky”, aka “Little Orange” ska (sometimes known as) "THAT DARN CAT!!!”

All cartoon characters have certain characteristics that are exaggerated. With "Garfield", it’s sleeping upside down on his back with his feet sticking up and his rear toes bent. At any rate, I have always thought that was just a cartoon thing. However, I was very surprised when I saw “Punky” sleeping the same way as Garfield i.e. upside down with feet in the air and rear toes bent. This time I snapped a photo and posted it below. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Cats Don’t Grow on Trees

I just returned from the barn after feeding the horses and cats. As a rule, a certain number of barn cats always run away, get sick, or get run over in the road, etc., which thins out the population by natural means. However, this immutable modus operandi has not been the case for the last several months. I’ve had 17 barn cats since last spring and I still have 17. It’s apparent that all the cats are happy and content and have no need nor desire to seek happiness and contentment else where. I have always liked cats, but 17 of them are a bit too many even for me.

Most people wonder why I don’t practice unnatural population control and instead of cat food, give them a diet of “lead”. Oddly enough, I have no difficulty shooting varmints such as raccoons, woodchucks, skunks (only at a great distance using my military issue high powered rifle with a powerful scope), rats, mice, or even lions and tigers and bears (Oh My!). For some reason I have never been able to shoot cats, nor do I have any future plans to do so.

One reason among many I choose to keep all of them is because every time I go into the barn, all 17 cats start to meow and gather around my feet which makes any further walking very difficult, indeed. The one very valuable benefit I have gained from this is that I can now gracefully and lightly waft through and around any objects blocking my path. Just as “grasshopper” in Kung Fu learned to walk on the thin rice paper without tearing it, I have now mastered the fine art of walking through cats without squashing any of them. Among many practical applications of this rare talent is that if any bully placed several hundred eggs ahead of me in an attempt to block my path, I could walk through them without breaking any of them thus instilling both fear and awe in the mind of the bully and as a result gaining his respect and admiration. At this juncture, I must humbly state that not just anyone has the ability to do the aforementioned amazing feats. This gift is only attained by years of diligent and patient practice of wading through a solid mass of meowing cats.

I believe God has a reason for everything and He has given me this extraordinary gift of walking softly through a gaggle of cats, which contributes a very valuable service to the well being of all mankind. Cats and eggs don’t grow on trees you know!
<)Mike(>

NOW HEAR THIS!

Like most people my age, I am convinced I am getting a little hard of hearing. As a matter of fact, I'm even having trouble hearing what I'm typing. I'm going to have to type a little louder. THERE, THAT'S BETTER. NOW I CAN HEAR IT MUCH BETTER.

I RECENTLY HAD A HEARING TEST AND THEY SAID IT WAS NORMAL. I JUST DON'T BELIEVE THAT. I'M SURE THE TECHNICIAN DID NOT HAVE THE TEST EQUIPMENT CALIBRATED CORRECTLY. YEEOW! NOW I AM HAVING TROUBLE HEARING MY KEYBOARD AGAIN.
AH! THAT'S BETTER.

Since I'm convinced that the hearing center did not properly adjust their hearing equipment, I'm going to request a hearing hearing and have them look into it. I should be hearing soon about the hearing hearing and if I hear anything, I will pass it along right "here", so you should be hearing something soon. This kind of mistake is unheard of, at least I've never heard of anything like this. If any of you have ever heard of this kind of thing happening, please let me hear about it. I'll be listening.
If you email me about hearing anything, please type your message in all caps, since I am getting a little hard of hearing. At least that's what I've heard lately...

mike (I think I just typed my name, but I couldn't hear the keys. If not, it's me)

Friday, January 16, 2009

"squid" pro quo

A few years ago, I got tired of microwave cuisine, so I have been doing home cooking ever since. In my case however, it could be called "homely" cooking. In fact, I now consider myself a gourmet cook. Although anyone who ends up eating my cooking would debate that title.
Lately I have desired to venture into more exotic cuisines rather than the usual dishes I whip up like home boiled hot dogs and so forth.

While I was in Norwalk the other day, I happened to drive down the "seedy" part of town and I spied an old rusty van sporting a sign that said, "Fresh Sea Food". Since the license plates were from another state, I figured that all the seafood was imported. I parked and walked up to a guy who was sitting on the rear tailgate. He was all scruffy with long greasy hair and I assumed that he was a professional fisherman. My rationale was that a typical fisherman would certainly look disheveled from days at sea. There was a sign that read "Fresh Squid". Since I hadn't had squid since I was in the Navy, I eagerly jumped at the opportunity to have it again after so many years. In spite of it being very expensive at $19.99 per pound, I nevertheless decided to splurge and get 5 pounds of it. Since he didn't accept credit cards or personal checks, it was a cash only sale. Fortunately I had enough cash to purchase my find. I excitedly rushed home in time to prepare it for supper. It was delicious and tasted a little like hot dogs, only much much better.

I went back today to get 5 more pounds but the van was gone. He probably went out fishing for more of that delicious squid!

We all enjoyed my very first gourmet meal!!! I was so proud of my accomplishment that I took a picture of my squid meal to share with all of my faithful readers in Blog Dom.

Check out my creation!...

Global Warming Where Art Thou?

I sure wish man made global warming were a fact. It's been so cold here since last night, I would pretend to believe it at least for one day, hoping "mind over matter" would make it feel warm for a change. Of course man made global warming is a myth perpetrated by the government to gain more control over the populace (that's us average folks). Even though this would be a most appropriate time to refute the greatest deception of the century, I shall digress to what is germane at the present time and effectively and categorically refute this foolishness in a future Blog posting.

It hasn't been above zero here all day and last night it was minus 13. As I was bundled up and waddling out to the barn this morning, my brother yelled something to me, probably commenting on how cold it is. Unfortunately, I heard no words at all since I'm quite certain they froze in the air. I'll have to wait until spring for the words to thaw out so I can find out what he was trying to say to me.

You know its cold when I filled the horses' water buckets with ice-cold water from the frost proof faucet and there was steam wafting from the surface of the buckets. When I finally arrived back in the house, my hands were so cold that I had to put them into the freezer to warm them up. Yeowwww! Now that is cold indeed. Not to be outdone, on the way back from the barn I saw a polar bear asking directions how to get to Miami. It could have been my imagination, but it sure seemed real to my cold numbed brain.

All right, in all seriousness, just to put all of you at ease who are convinced I have finally "gone over the edge" and that I am seeing delusions, I must admit that I didn't really see a polar bear asking directions to Miami. (It was a penguin).
Later...
~~MiKe~~

Thursday, January 15, 2009

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

I have recently been pondering the subject of first names and how they have changed over the years. When I checked the Internet for popular boy’s and girl’s names in 2008, I found all kinds of cool names. I really like the names that parents give kids these days. I also did a check of popular boy’s and girl’s names in 1948, which is my era. I found the following top 10 names:

2008
Boys:
Aiden
Ethan (My favorite name of all) (My grandson’s name)
Noah
Caleb
Braydon
Jacob
Landon (The name I picked out in 1980 for our deceased son)
Liam
Lucas

Girls:
Ava (Great name, indeed)
Isabella
Madeline
Abigail
Olivia
Lilly
Sophia
Chloe
Ella

1948
Boys:
James
Robert
John
William
David
Michael (The best name of all)
Richard
Thomas
Charles
Ronald

Girls:
Linda
Mary
Barbara
Patricia
Susan
Sandra
Nancy
Carol
Sharon
Kathleen

All in all, I think kids' names today are much better than they used to be. I always wished my name was a bit different (to match my personality). Some of the first names for me I would rather have had are the following: “Best”, “Greatest” “Wonderful”, “Cool”, “Genius”, etc.
So what’s in a name anyhow?

Mike (alias: “Best”, “Greatest” “Wonderful”, “Cool”, “Genius”, etc.)
;-)>

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A "CEO" BARRIER?

These days it is extremely difficult if not impossible to find any electronics made in the USA. There are some reasons for this; however, this is not my scope for this treatise. Perhaps I will get into that subject on a later post.

My emphasis this time is to point out something that has always puzzled me. On the one hand is my befuddlement as to why manufacturers don't make the instructions for their products clearer and more easily understood. Be that as it may, on the other hand, why are there so many spelling and grammatical errors in the vague instructions?

I shall point out a case in point. I received a small portable heart monitor today to use with my recumbent stationary exercise bike. Like most electronic gadgets these days, there are all kinds of electronic readings with this thing. After pondering the vague instructions, I did what I always do with useless instructions these days; I figured it out for myself since some of the features were not even mentioned in the so-called "instructions". If that weren't bad enough, the instructions were infested with incomplete sentences and several misspellings. Since this little electronic marvel was made in some "sweat shop" in Taiwan, I could understand the problems if the instructions were composed by some Taiwanese guy since some foreign language terms do not always translate well into English. I've noticed this is especially true for Asian languages. Now the aforementioned is bad enough, but even the outside of the box had a blatant misspelling of the word "weight". Check it out in the photo. I have underlined the blatantly misspelled word "weinght" (i.e. "weight") with a red line. Although this product is made in Taiwan, it is manufactured for an American company in Minneapolis! I would think that the CEO's would have at least sent a copy of the instructions to the Taiwanese "sweat shop" with proper English to print.

Alas, another mystery that could be so easily rectified...

A HEAT WAVE!

Since it is near 12 degrees outside, this presents yet another auspicious occasion for me to whip up another batch of my famous "4 Alarm Hotsy Totsy Chili", which is guaranteed to warm both the inside and outside of anyone who has the courage to eat a bowl. (Or even a teaspoon.)

Now that it is simmering away on the range, I shall take this opportunity to make a quick entry in my Blog. For more details about my famous chili, I invite you to peruse an earlier story I posted on my web site germane to this subject.
http://www.quarterhorse3.us/a_chili_reception.html

:::MIKE:::




Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Exercising and Not Getting Anywhere

My physician recently informed me that my cholesterol was too high and that I’m at risk for heart problems. I’m not too concerned because my psychiatrist has been telling me for years that I am at risk for brain problems. Nevertheless, I’m still as mentally sound as I have ever been. (Rebuttals will be accepted for the next 2 minutes). I have recently started to take “industrial strength” prescription fish oil in addition to several “over the counter” herbs like flaxseed oil and a bunch of other stuff that promises not only to dramatically lower my cholesterol, but will also cure my arthritis and will make my body and prostate gland immortal.

My physician also said I need to exercise during the winter months. As a result, I recently purchased a stationary bike. It’s a recumbent which means I can practically lay down when I am using it which sounds good to me. I used to ride my “non stationary” “non recumbent” bike all over the place, but I eventually found it was too dangerous due to all the traffic on the highways these days. Now I can pedal away in the safety of my own living room with the only danger being the possibility that one of the cats or my foot getting caught in the revolving spokes.

My new recumbent stationary exercise bike also has the latest electronic “bells and whistles”. It tells me how many miles I’ve “ridden”, the time “ridden”, miles per hour, and heart rate (which is something I’d rather not know). It even has a cup holder (What thing doesn’t these days). This will come in handy to park my lard and butter milkshakes while I’m “riding”.

I’m intending to use it daily. I’m hoping by this summer I will have bulging muscles and the heart and arteries of a 5 year old (to match my brain) so I can finally look forward to going to the beach and not have some muscle bound guy kick sand in my face. Up till now, I have been the world’s foremost authority on the study of the effects of swallowing sand.

See you at the beach this summer. (I’ll be the guy with the sand covered face).

===Mike===

Cartoon Physics

In the last posting I looked at Hollywood 1950s westerns physics. I will now ponder cartoon physics. This is where the laws of physics really take a back flip.

I shall illustrate cartoon physics with my all time favorite cartoons, The Coyote and the Road Runner. In my opinion these are the funniest cartoons ever made. If I were stranded on a desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean and asked what one DVD I could take with me, it would be the Road Runner. However, with my fading gray matter, I would likely forget to take a DVD player and probably a TV as well! In addition, even if I did remember all these accoutrements, I would have no source of electricity to operate them. My only hope would be to try and recall every episode of Gilligan’s Island since the professor would surely have had an electric power generating plant made from palm tree logs and drift wood. Oh well, be that as it may, now to the subject at hand.

The Coyote and the Road Runner cartoons comprise all of the cartoon physics. For example:

One - When the coyote paints a picture of a tunnel through a mountain, the road runner passes right through it. When the coyote tries to go through the painted tunnel, KAZAM!

Two - All cartoon characters have the ability to defy gravity and walk in mid air, until they realize it and then suddenly the law of gravity kicks in and they immediately fall to earth. The universal exception to this law is the “good guys” who are being pursued by the “bad guys”. The falls of great distances never result in any injuries.

Three – All characters have to ability to get hit by boulders, trains, trucks, automobiles, etc. and only see stars thus avoiding any injuries. The only consequence of being hit by a giant boulder or safe is an accordion effect on the body which passes when the next scene starts.

Four – All characters have the ability of being injury free when being shot by guns, cannons, explosions, etc. The only visible consequence is a black sooty face.

Five – My all time favorite cartoon physics is when anyone’s nose gets pinched, it always honks like an old time car horn.

Well, I’ve only given this subject a perfunctory treatment. There are many more instances of cartoon physics. The main thing about these is that they are funny, very funny indeed, and that’s the bottom line.

It is very unfortunate that one rarely if ever sees any good old fashioned Looney Tunes broadcast any more. Fortunately, I have recently acquired 6 volumes of Looney Tunes DVDs with some Road Runner cartoons! I’m now going to watch a few as soon as I post this which will be immediately since after contemplating this thesis, I am approaching cartoon “paradise”!

(((MIKE)))