Search for the Missing “Relative”

I have noticed the trend these days is to make unnecessary, inconvenient changes to things that have worked from their conception. This more often than not, results in inferior products after the change. The ubiquitous trendy phrase used these days for any product  is “New and “Improved”. In the majority of cases I’ve found is that it may be new, but certainly not “improved”. To me it results in, “One step forward; two steps backward”.

I could give a long list of aggravating examples; however, in the pursuance of brevity, I will give an example of the first aggravation I observed early this morning.

All the weather forecasters used to give the relative humidity. That was something that I could always relate. A low relative humidity means it would be comfortable to go outside on a hot day. A high relative humidity means that it becomes more “sticky” on a hot humid day, thus resulting in profuse perspiring.

These days, for some unknown reason, the weather forecasters have replaced relative humidity with the “dew point”.  I still cannot relate to that in a pragmatic and practical way. The official meteorological definition of “dew point” is, “The atmospheric temperature (varying according to pressure and humidity) below which water droplets begin to condense and dew can form.” To me this means nothing. I simply cannot empirically relate to that! That is not germane as to how “sticky” it will be on a hot humid August Dog Day afternoon.

Now, I have to go to the NWS web site that still lists “relative humidity” so I know what kind of a day it will be as to comfort level. I have no idea as to why they have omitted the humidity. Given my wary nature, I conger up some insidious clandestine government conspiracy to confuse us and limit summer outdoor activates. You never know these days.

I shall not even attempt to broach the subject of “Heat Index”, which is yet another pedantic esoteric term to further cause confusion! Then there are the phony “old school” radar sweep arms when they show the Doppler radar screens. I do not believe there are radar sweep arms in Doppler. Very distracting indeed! Then there’s the….. Oh, never mind, I’m starting to get irked. Bring back the old ways that worked fine.

My plea: Come on T.V. weathermen, break free of the trendy herd mentality and think for your selves. Bring back relative humidity forecasts for those of us Baby Boomers!!!

///Mike\\\

“Foiled Again!”

My scrambled brain has resulted in all kinds of uncanny behavior my whole life including a wacky sense of humor and general bizarre behavior. This, of course, is based on my well-known diagnosed Bipolar/Hypertension/Hyper activity/Anxiety Complex/, etc. manifested my whole life. The bottom line I am told is that I am unique and a “one of a kind”. When they made me, they threw away the mold and beat up the mold maker.

Alas, I have longed to be “normal” with a normally functioning brain. One time I was so desperate to achieve a state of normalcy, that I convinced one of my psychiatrists to investigate the possibility of a brain exchange/implant. After extensive research, my Dr. did indeed succeed in setting up an experimental first of its kind brain exchange/implant. Since it is illegal to exchange human brains, they planned to exchange my brain with a monkey’s brain.

Everything was all set until PETA somehow found out about it. They filed a court injunction to prohibit a brain exchange between a monkey and myself. The judge ruled it was a clear case of animal cruelty. 😱

()Mike()

“Suspended” Information

Among the countless mysteries of life, of which I have no adequate answers to, now and then I do indeed find the answers to things that have mystified me over the years.

One thing that has always mystified me is why older men always wear trousers with their belt line so very high up over their waists. Or why do so many old men wear suspenders. When I was a kid and watched I Love Lucy, I was always fascinated why Fred Mertz’s trousers were always so high up on his waist. I have also noticed this in other older guys over the years.

 

Ironically, over the last few years as I age, I have been wearing suspenders more and more. I have at last solved this one mystery based on my own anecdotal evidence. I finally figured out why older men do this or if they use a belt, to pull the trouser waist as far up as possible. As men age, they tend to develop larger abdomens and lose their hip contours. That has happened to me. Consequently, no matter how tight I buckle my belts, my jeans tend to slip down past my waist due to gravity. Another reason I wear suspenders more and more is that over the years I have an inverse continuing cycle of losing and gaining weight. This is synonymous with my anxiety levels that come and go depending on how the brain chemicals decide to flow.

I trust this rare useful Blog entry that has answered one of the big mysteries in life that perchance others have wondered about as well.

@@@Mike@@@

Conquering The Battle of the “Bulge”

I recently had Robotic Laparoscopic hernia surgery. My hernia was the result, no doubt, of a lifetime of tossing around literally thousands of hay bales. I had a big hernia due to my own fault of waiting much too long to revisit the surgeon. He said my hernia was big! As a result, my whole right side is one big piece of mesh.

As a result of today’s modern medical advances, hernia surgery is no big deal these days. I remember guys getting hernia surgery years ago and were in the hospital for a few days. I was an outpatient; checked in early in the morning and checked out midafternoon, which made me happy and Medicare even happier I’m sure. Due to Plan F Medicare Supplement, I did not pay anything. It reminded me of the long ago days when I went to a VA Hospital. It is so nice not to have to pay a bunch of co pays and get “phantom” invoices for months afterward from all kinds of medical places and doctors I’ve never heard of back in the days when I had Medicare “Advantage”. It was no advantage I found.

I found Robotic Laparoscopic hernia surgery very fascinating indeed! Three small slits about 1 inch wide were made in my upper groin and all repairs and mesh were accomplished through them! Also, the surgeon used robotic arms to do all the surgery! When he mentioned he was going to use robotic surgery, I had fears of looking up and seeing Robby the Robot from Lost in Space working on me! I’m sure surgeons love robotic surgery because they can probably come right in from the golf course and not even need to scrub up or wear a surgical gown. They can do surgery in their golf outfit and even keep their cleated golf shoes on perhaps.

Of course, being analytically minded, I did a lot of research beforehand and even viewed the whole process on YouTube. The whole process was much smoother than I expected. Recovery time is also much more rapid with this type of surgery. I was prescribed some powerful pain meds for post surgery pain. However, since they can be addicting, and due to my addictive nature, I did not take them. I “toughed” it through with doses of 700 mgs of OTC Ibuprofen I had on hand. Actually, the pain was not as bad as I thought it would be given my infamous extremely low pain tolerance. When my first wife would get exasperated with my low pain tolerance, she used to say, “It’s a good thing men can’t have babies”! Ah, a good thing indeed!

Would I go through it again? Well, permit me to put it this way: Since surgery, I have been very careful not to pick up anything too heavy again. If I had my way, from now on I would pick up nothing heavier than “lifting” someone’s spirits!

###Mike###

“Learning by Fear”

Many people have always considered me to be highly intelligent. I trust I have successfully refuted that hypothesis in my previous Blog post. When I asked how they conclude that, one reason they mention is my language skill and extensive vocabulary. Consequently, I don’t consider myself a genius, even though I may sound like one.

The explanation of my giving the impression of intelligence is, I believe, my proper use of the English language. The genesis of this goes back to my High School years. My English teacher for 2 years was Miss Purcell. She was considered very mean and a hard taskmaster. I for one was scared to death of her because she had absolutely no tolerance for the antics of teenage boys, of which I must admit was one of the ringleaders.  I learned a lot from her because, frankly, I was too afraid not to learn. She always said, “Rightly or wrongly, people judge you by the language you use”. I never forgot that and to this day use proper English.  As a result, although I rarely, if ever, say anything, the use of improper English, both oral and written, that is so common these days always causes me to cringe whenever I hear it. I could list dozens of examples of the misuse of language these days; however, I would just get myself in a state of aggravation. Therefore, I will squelch this intention.

Because of peer pressure, even others who know and usually use proper English will tend to start using the same improper language when they are with their peers who use the lingo du jour. I never do that. I make them come up to my language level rather than drop to their level. I have no need to be accepted by them since I am secure in who and what I am (much to the consternation of some).

One of my biggest regrets in life is that when Miss Purcell attended one of my High School Alumni Banquets in the early 1990’s, I did not go to her and thank her for teaching me about proper language, which has positively influenced my life to this day. Unfortunately, she passed away several years ago before I had another opportunity to thank her. Alas, another opportunity in life squandered.  Anyway, for what it is worth now:

Thank you Miss Purcell!

)))Mike(((