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My physician recently informed me that my cholesterol was too high and that I’m at risk for heart problems. I’m not too concerned because my psychiatrist has been telling me for years that I am at risk for brain problems. Nevertheless, I’m still as mentally sound as I have ever been. (Rebuttals will be accepted for the next 2 minutes). I have recently started to take “industrial strength” prescription fish oil in addition to several “over the counter” herbs like flaxseed oil and a bunch of other stuff that promises not only to dramatically lower my cholesterol, but will also cure my arthritis and will make my body and prostate gland immortal.
My physician also said I need to exercise during the winter months. As a result, I recently purchased a stationary bike. It’s a recumbent which means I can practically lay down when I am using it which sounds good to me. I used to ride my “non stationary” “non recumbent” bike all over the place, but I eventually found it was too dangerous due to all the traffic on the highways these days. Now I can pedal away in the safety of my own living room with the only danger being the possibility that one of the cats or my foot getting caught in the revolving spokes.
My new recumbent stationary exercise bike also has the latest electronic “bells and whistles”. It tells me how many miles I’ve “ridden”, the time “ridden”, miles per hour, and heart rate (which is something I’d rather not know). It even has a cup holder (What thing doesn’t these days). This will come in handy to park my lard and butter milkshakes while I’m “riding”.
I’m intending to use it daily. I’m hoping by this summer I will have bulging muscles and the heart and arteries of a 5 year old (to match my brain) so I can finally look forward to going to the beach and not have some muscle bound guy kick sand in my face. Up till now, I have been the world’s foremost authority on the study of the effects of swallowing sand.
See you at the beach this summer. (I’ll be the guy with the sand covered face).
My physician also said I need to exercise during the winter months. As a result, I recently purchased a stationary bike. It’s a recumbent which means I can practically lay down when I am using it which sounds good to me. I used to ride my “non stationary” “non recumbent” bike all over the place, but I eventually found it was too dangerous due to all the traffic on the highways these days. Now I can pedal away in the safety of my own living room with the only danger being the possibility that one of the cats or my foot getting caught in the revolving spokes.
My new recumbent stationary exercise bike also has the latest electronic “bells and whistles”. It tells me how many miles I’ve “ridden”, the time “ridden”, miles per hour, and heart rate (which is something I’d rather not know). It even has a cup holder (What thing doesn’t these days). This will come in handy to park my lard and butter milkshakes while I’m “riding”.
I’m intending to use it daily. I’m hoping by this summer I will have bulging muscles and the heart and arteries of a 5 year old (to match my brain) so I can finally look forward to going to the beach and not have some muscle bound guy kick sand in my face. Up till now, I have been the world’s foremost authority on the study of the effects of swallowing sand.
See you at the beach this summer. (I’ll be the guy with the sand covered face).
===Mike===
1 comment:
Using an Exercise bike can provide a unique way to exercise because this machine allows you to simulate various biking routines that require different levels of performance.
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